Hope Chapel Del Rey Book Blog

Chap 7 - Integrity and Self-Acceptance

2010-02-11T12:15:00.000-08:00

There were three things that really resonated with me in this chapter.

1) The dream of Jesus Christ is the Kingdom of God, and the committed Christian buys into his dream. It ought to be noted that the Kingdom is not an abstraction. It is concrete, visible, and a formidable reality forged by the personal commitment of many members.

The Kingdom is here now. This thought regularly comes to my mind and I think about this. I can be effective in the kingdom now. The choices I make now affect how effective my walk will be. While I can't take a friend to meet Jesus face to face, I can do it in prayer, conversation about Him, and the things I do. The kingdom is here now and we were called for such a time as this to walk in the kingdom!

2) …there is no growth without pain, no integrity without self-denial, and neither are particularly attractive apart from the personal love of Jesus Christ.

But Jesus for the love of us endured the cross - pain and self-denial is written all over the cross. And this Savior who loves me way more than I can ever comprehend calls me close - very close. I wanna be like Him. Pain? OK! Self-denial? OK! Am I good at either of these - No, but I'm willing because He will walk with me through it.

3) When the crucified One says, “I’m dying to be with you” and then whispers, “Will you die a little to be with me?” my sluggish spirit is stirred (unfortunately not always) to prefer the pleasure of his company to whatever trinket of creation is mesmerizing me at the moment.

I've thought long and hard about this. I feel the Spirit whisper it to me. Unfortunately, I too have a sluggish spirit. But if we don't die a little to be with Him, we'll never know the full extent of transformation He can do in our lives. We will cheat ourselves in the long run if we don't.

Chapter 5 - Liberation Through Prayer

2010-01-14T14:53:00.000-08:00

"Whatever else it may be, prayer is first and foremost an act of love. Before any pragmatic, utilitarian, or altruistic motivations, prayer is born of a desire to be with Jesus. His imcomparable wisdom, compelling beauty, irresistable goodness, and unrestricted love lure us into the quiet of our hearts where He dwells." [pg.83]

When I think about prayer, the majority of my prayers cause me shame. Not like hide in my room under the covers shame, just a bitter disgust at the shallowness of my prayers. Most of my prayers are prompted by my own needs or the situation in which praying is standard or at least appropriate. These are the majority of my prayers.

In the minority are the moments where it's as if my lips are to His ear and I know that He knows. He KNOWS. A compassionate understanding that only a true BFF can understand. And the crazy thing, most of these times I'm not even speaking. These prayers of my heart, it's a moment where my conversation is not even verbal. Those are the tender moments. There are also the prayers which are cried out, screamed out, tears streaming down my face because of anger or brokenness. These conversations mostly take place in my car, my room or the bathroom. But these too, are the kind of prayers I think Manning is talking about. Prayers where He and I are talking in the deepest chambers of my heart.

Basil Pennington [pg.84] describes prayer as a child resting in their father's arms. Rest is something that I have to learn to do with God. How many times have I heard preachers at camp telling me to not pray at night because I might fall asleep in the middle of praying? If God is truly with me in everything, then He is most definitely there in my resting. I know the intent of the teacher was to help a rowdy group of selfish teens realize that they need to give their best to God and not just give Him sloppy seconds. But somewhere along the way, I never learned to find God in my resting (reference Tim Hughes, "Everything"). I remember being at a one day prayer retreat, and the speaker gave us permission to nap. Tears welled up in my eyes as I finally realized that I can find freedom and rest in God's presence. Rising up early to meet Him is good and well, but so is laying down to know Him. My husband always says the most amazing feeling in the world is an infant asleep in your arms, tiny hand around your neck and sweet baby drool nuzzling your shoulder. So we should be with Abba Father.

I have no comments on this paragraph, I just love it:

"The crucified Christ, in his present risenness, is not an abstraction but the ultimate response to how far love will go, what measure of rejection it will endure, how much infidelity, self-centeredness, and betrayal it will withstand. The unconditional love of Jesus Christ nailed to the wood does not flinch before the worst sinner's perversity and inhumanity." (Matt 8:17)

Brennan's excercise on pg. 93 reminds me of an engagement session I had with a young couple a few weeks ago. Brennan says "Reflect on the fact that he loves and accepts you just as you are now. Take time out to sense his unconditional love for you as he looks at you lovingly and humbly." I had them standing a bit away from me, and had them look each other in the eyes. And as I had them standing there quite awhile, I heard her say a bit embarrassed, "I can't look at you that long." I imagine this is how I would be, as I imagine Christ looking on me, fully accepting me, in this current broken and often lazy state.

"The great turning point in your life is not when you realize that you love God, but that when you realize and fully accept the fact that God loves you unconditionally." - Anthony de Mello

Shaken!

2010-01-14T10:33:00.000-08:00

A Glimpse of Jesus chapter 5 “Liberation through Prayer

At the first reading of this chapter I was shaken. His comments on prayer that it was first and foremost and act of love and that to really love someone implies a natural longing for presence and intimate communion. Manning then described the requirements for canonization of a person to sainthood. Their life, more than anything else, is a life characterized by extraordinary prayer. It didn’t matter what miracles they performed, what influence they had or how they swayed the masses, if they did not demonstrate this type of prayer life they would not qualify for sainthood.

I was shaken because I felt the weight of my insufficient prayer life condemning me. I must not really love God because I don’t find prayer natural and I could never be a saint because I certainly don't have an extraordinary prayer life. Ordinary might be more accurate.

I know this was not Manning’s intent or heart but it struck me that way just the same. I realize that my reaction went overboard, due in part to personal guilt and in part to genuinely wanting a better prayer life. I found some comfort in the story of Basil Pennington when,
as Pennington puts it, it isn’t so important what we say and do but “that I am choosing to remain for this time intimately with the Father, giving ourselves (myself) to him, receiving his love and care, letting him enjoy us (me) as he will”(pg.84)

There was much in the chapter that resonated with me. Much of what Manning had to say was a “hard pill to swallow” but once taken to heart I know the benefits will follow.
I have taken to heart the idea of simply “being in God’s presence” more. Prayer has always been an act discipline for me and I long for it to be something more.

Liberation Through Prayer

2010-01-10T19:46:00.000-08:00

Where I had a problem with much of the previous chapters I had the opposite reaction to this whole chapter. I might sound prideful to say that I feel like Manning truly hit the nail on the head regarding prayer - the meaning of it, access to it, problems we have with it. Perhaps a better way to state it is what he wrote resonated with my thinking about prayer and new thoughts he shared made perfect sense to me.

I think his Catholic background aided him in the practice of prayer. He says, "Recognition of the problem (of prayer) is not the answer. Action is. One learns to pray by praying. Two twenty-minute periods of prime time in solitary prayer, morning and evening, before a symbol of the crucified Christ is the most effective discipline I have found for making conscious contact with the living God and his liberating love."

He talks about how "Christian piety has prettified the passionate God of Golgotha", how we have taken the holy, reverent, passion of the access to the cross and minimized it into a necessary inconvenience.

I was inspired and challenged by this chapter.

2009-12-13T15:54:00.000-08:00

A Glimpse of Jesus; Chapter 4; Deliverance Through Storytelling

I must be honest. This chapter was the most uncomfortable one so far in this book. Perhaps I am not understanding Manning's intent as I find his style of writing and wording poor and often showy. Many of his statements and view points sound new age and leave me with a "check in my spirit" if I dare to be so cliche.

Manning quotes another author, "Only mystics, clowns and artists, in my experience, speak the truth," (pg. 5) and though he says the author overstates the truth, he uses it as an argument that "Christ is far too serious a business to be left to the theologians and exegetes alone." He speaks of "imagination as guides to religious truth." (pg. 6)

His descriptions of Jesus also disturb me. "The stories (parables) were intended, not only to defend his own notorious conduct with sinners...", speaking of Jesus. In page 78, he says, "Jesus, who flinched, talked back to and questioned his Abba." I found that quite a bold, if not offensive statement to say that Jesus talked back to His Father.

I think his final paragraph in this chapter sums up my feelings. "In our cynical, disillusioned world, we may ask, 'Is this promise of a new way of life merely an illusion, a figment of the imagination? Absolutely not. Let us make a critical distinction: illusion is a denial of reality, while imagination creates and calls forth new reality that has not yet come to birth." As hard as I've tried, I can not find a way to make this paragraph sit well with me.

Chapeter 4 "Deliverance Through Story Telling

2009-12-10T10:23:00.000-08:00

Telling a story about people (as Jesus did) means that you are in touch with people. To tell a story means we have come down from our ivory towers and have walked at street level with real people with real needs. They are windows into how our theology is applied in real life situations, something the Pharisees were unable to do. This is what Jesus did as he spoke in parables/stories. He was applying theology in compassionate and loving ways. This is particularly true in the case of the parables described in Luke 15 – "The Lost Sheep, "The Lost Coin and "The Lost Son”.
I am reminded that my life must interact with others in such a way that I have some stories to tell about how “my theology” brought healing and wholeness to others. How it showed the love, mercy and compassion of Christ. It is not enough for me to hold close to theological truths and to hold people at a distance. I must have stories about people who have been touched by my influence of both, the mercy and compassion of God and the doctrine of God.

Healing Through Meal Sharing

2009-12-10T09:44:00.000-08:00

Chapter 3 “Healing Through Meal Sharing”

I loved this chapter because it was so practical and relational. I think meal sharing is one of the most effective ways to build relationships with others. It has been over a meal that I have led people to Christ, encouraged believers and received encouragement myself. The opening of one’s home to others is to open one’s heart and there is an intimacy we experience at the “table” that is hard to replicate anywhere else. I think if church members simply reached out more and invited others to their tables the love and unity in the church would increase and the gossip and division would decrease. I am challenged by this chapter to be more intentional about inviting others, churched and unchurched, to my table.

A Glimpse of Jesus, Chapter 3: Healing Through Meal Sharing

2009-10-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

I think I was taken most by the reminder that Jesus had such a heart for the humble of means, status, situations and any other thing that was looked down upon. The book states that modern Christianity - and in particular in our western culture - just doesn't get what a big deal it was at the time for Jesus to sup with these. The best understatement of all was that Jesus was no social climber!

My heart is both warmed and encouraged by the stories that make time and space for the disenfranchised and how letting Jesus flow through us can be a ministry of healing and reconciliation in their lives. When I think about how this might play out today, I can just imagine putting off your friends to make this kind of time. But oh how cool it would be if our friends were already of the same mindset that we could bring them along to minister God's love and mercy to those God puts in our path - and catch up with your friends afterwards.

Another thought came to mind that I'm still thinking about. The book was clearly talking about having a meal in someone's home. In today's culture, many of us share a meal but at a restaurant or similar setting. My thought is that while you can share of yourselves in conversation and ministry at a restaurant - including even picking up the bill for the meal - having someone in your home takes it to a whole other level for today. When I think about having someone to my home for a meal, it means that I've prepared it for them myself. It means being in the very surroundings that I live my life in day to day. It means that how I live is open an available to them. It means that they know where I live, how I keep house, who else lives there with me and other things like this that can still be kept private when we use the convenience of a restaurant. I believe there are advantages to both, but my thought is that to really draw someone near to you, there isn't anything quite like being in their home. There is a place for both and it's good to keep in mind the possibilities.

2009-10-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

What I liked/learned: "In the East, to share a meal with someone is a symbol of peace, trust, brotherhood, and forgiveness; the shared table is a shared life." Inviting non-believers into my home and into my life speaks more than quoting scriptures and sharing doctrinal truths.

What I wrestled with: Manning gives the example of salvation being present when we share a meal and enjoy fine food and good wine and great company. Though we are exorted to work out our salvation with fear and trembling, I felt uncomfortable with taking the great act of Christ death as salvation once for all and reduce it to our own acts.

What I want to put into practice: I was exorted to be more proactive in extending my life to the yet-saved. As an active Christian, my life is busy with church life and therefore often surrounded by my fellow Christian brothers and sisters. It must be an intentional and sometimes sacrificial act of my will to carve out time and energy to be in relationship with those who don't know Christ. And not only this, but to make sure my heart and mind do not view this as some great act for the kingdom but as a blessing that I will miss out on should I choose to stay where life is comfortable.

Chapter 3 - Healing through meal sharing

2009-10-07T22:19:00.000-07:00

"In the East, to share a meal with someone is a symbol of peace, trust, brotherhood, and forgiveness; the shared table is a shared life."

"It would be impossible to overestimate the impact these meals must have had upon the poor and the sinners. By accepting them as friends and equals Jesus had taken away their shame, humiliation and guilt. By showing them that they mattered to him as people he gave them a sense of dignity and released them from their old captivity."

"...they would have interpreted his gesture of friendship as God's approval of them. They were now acceptable to God. Their sinfulness, ignorance and uncleanness had been overlooked and were no longer being held against them."

Brennan discusses many great truths in the third chapter of this book, but the first and probably most obvious is the one that strikes me the deepest. Jesus is always about those on the outside, those who are still hurting, lost and broken. The ones who are unlovable or hard to love. Jesus wasn't afraid to be close to them, to be seen with them, to love on them.

The interesting thing is that the idea of being "invited to someone's house for a meal" is not the same for our Western culture as it is for the Eastern culture. But still, some of the same implications remain. We have friends and we have strangers. Jesus invited the strangers to become friends. We have friends and we have "the homeless". Jesus invited those without homes to become friends. We have friends and we have homosexuals. Jesus invited the homosexuals to become friends.

These ideas are not easy for me. To open myself up, to seek out, those who are friendless. But I realize most of that comes from fear. A fear of having to be something or convince someone. The reality is I just need to be me, to befriend the friendless. I can do that. It may mean stepping out of my comfort zone. A favorite professor of mine once had a large group of teens do an exercise. He had everyone in the room put their hand on the shoulder of the person next to them, and then look each other in the eye. We were to stand their unwavering for one minute. It felt like an ETERNITY!

I wasn't there to witness it, but I'm sure Jesus looked every person He interacted with in the eye. It shows the person you see them. You don't see through or past, but you see them. They matter. Putting down the cell phone, not multi tasking, but looking that person in the eye and being present.

I don't have to convince or prove people of their forgiveness and acceptance, I just have to treat them like it.

2009-09-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on “Glimpse of Jesus” by Pastor Mark

Chapter 1

“I hope it is clear that feelings of guilt, accompanied by anxiety, fear and restlessness, arise from deep within ourselves and are not an accurate gauge of the state of our souls before God” (Bernard Bush as quoted by Brennan Manning in “A glimpse of Jesus” pg.7)

I was struck by the fact that, while my feelings of guilt may be the result of a sinful action on my part that results in anxiety, fear and restlessness, they are not a reflection of how God feels about me. Even though I have been a Christian for many years and have ministered to others and have spoken to them about the unconditional love of God, I am still learning to know that love for me. I am at times like the prodigal son that, because he feels like a slave he assumes his father will treat him like a slave. He anticipates the father will feel the same way about him as he feels about himself.

When I find myself feeling this way I usually go in one of two directions; I may just stop trying to please God altogether (why work so hard at trying to please a God that can’t be pleased). Or, I work harder to please him. I become a perfectionist and I allow little room for failure. Hoping I’ll do things so right that he won’t find fault. What a trap!

But what wondrous surprise it must have been when the prodigal son returns and finds out the father didn’t feel the same way he felt about himself! He showers him with his love!

Dear Lord, I need your help to see myself as you see me and not see you as I see myself. Help me take what I know in my head and put it into my heart. I desire to know the joy of the freedom from self-condemnation. I know you will help me with this. Amen

A Glimpse of Jesus, Chapter 1

2009-09-08T23:08:00.000-07:00

The main topics discussed in this chapter are: Projectionism, Perfectionism, Moralism/Legalism and Unhealthy Guilt. I know these are issues for folks but I kept asking myself - if you really know the heart of the Father and what the cross did for us, why are people still caught in these? Isn't the power of the cross that we can walk out of these and into an intimate and safe relationship with God Almighty?

I have to say that putting some distance between the Reckless Grace article and the re-reading of this first chapter really helped me. With some distance between them, this first chapter didn't seem to be so depressing but instead details possible areas that keep us from childlike faith and trust.

Regarding the opening turkey story - if God is perfect and full of love (and He is), there is nothing to fear. He is not fickle. Trouble and disappointment are not Him withdrawing from us or expressing His disapproval, but instead the fine chiseling of a Master shaping a masterpiece - Christ in me.

Regarding projectionism - it is true that people who influence us can put their own spin on what God looks at or is concerned with, but ultimately these just become a backdrop as I draw near to the throne of grace and come to know the heart of the Father myself. I apparently experienced a profound conversion based on this quote: "It takes a profound conversion to accept the belief that God is tender and loves us just as we are, not in spite of our sins and faults, but with them."

Regarding perfectionism - only God is perfect - He knows what I am and who I am - as long as I stay on the Potter's wheel, the work He's doing in me should be considered a work in progress - relieving me of the pressure to be perfect now and I'm really good with that.

Regarding moralism/legalism - who wants to be a score keeper and spend the energy to track other people - "all indeed is gift and gracious clemency"!

Regarding unhealthy guilt - I know people who have been trained by guilt - they are forever burdened and never feel like they measure up. However, a correct guilt which leads us to repentance evaporates once it has played it's role to restore us to right relationship. God remembers it no more so I am allowed to let it go as well - hallelujah!

With these out of the way, I'm looking forward to the upswing now that the table of contents seems to suggest.

Testing

2009-09-08T22:21:00.000-07:00

Testing, Testing, 1.2.3 Ü Is this thing on???

The Script for Self-Hatred (Manning, Ch. 1)

2009-09-07T13:46:00.000-07:00

Manning offers a refreshing response to Yaconelli's "Reckless Grace" when, quoting Lewis Smedes, he writes, "This is healthy shame, and we are closest to health when we let ourselves feel the pain of it ["failing," sinning] and be led by the pain to do something about it" (p. 18).
Just as those in AA welcome other alcoholics into their groups, with "empathy, compassion, and unconditional acceptance, " so too believers must demonstrate "the unflinching love of the Abba Jesus, who cannot despise" (p.16). Further, "AA invites me to confess my weakness [as a "failer"] at the very moment I am turning away from it" (p. 16). This active repentance, this "turning away," is what Yaconelli overlooked and, thereby, downplayed.
I also appreciated Manning's question: "Does the neutral onlooker [especially postmoderns] identify a Christian by his pious practices and cultic regularity ['ritual and cult'] or by the loving quality of his everyday presence in the workaday world ['personal commitment and the sacrifice of one's life,' Doherty]" (p. 12). Neither perfectionism, moralism, nor legalism - which Manning derides - will develop such a loving presence.

Currently Reading: A Glimpse of Jesus: The Stranger to Self-Hatred (Paperback)

2009-08-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

Self-hatred, low self-esteem, unhealthy guilt and self-pity, according to the author, pose the single largest obstacles in today's world to discovering the love of God in Jesus. In this compelling sequel to The Wisdom of Tenderness, former Franciscan priest Manning (The Ragamuffin Gospel) offers insights into ways that Christians can overcome self-hatred, accept themselves for who they are, and recognize that Jesus loves and values them.

According to Manning, the church perpetuates feelings of unworthiness by projecting onto God the image of a punishing father who does not love his children. In addition, by requiring a perfect obedience to the letter of the moral law, the church forms people into Christians who internalize failure and despise themselves when they cannot live up to the church's high moral standards. This self-hatred can be overcome, Manning writes, by a glimpse of Jesus, the "Savior of boundless compassion, unbearable forgiveness, infinite patience and healing love." Such a glimpse of Jesus comes through prayer and silent meditation. Once Christians realize that Jesus accepts them for themselves, they are liberated from self-hatred and are free to love others with the same compassion God has shown them.

Manning sharply criticizes evangelists, preachers and priests who induce feelings of self-hatred, and urges Christians to cast their eyes upon Jesus, embracing his love and acceptance. Manning's book offers a radical portrait of discipleship for the modern church.

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