Shaken!

A Glimpse of Jesus chapter 5 “Liberation through Prayer

At the first reading of this chapter I was shaken. His comments on prayer that it was first and foremost and act of love and that to really love someone implies a natural longing for presence and intimate communion. Manning then described the requirements for canonization of a person to sainthood. Their life, more than anything else, is a life characterized by extraordinary prayer. It didn’t matter what miracles they performed, what influence they had or how they swayed the masses, if they did not demonstrate this type of prayer life they would not qualify for sainthood.

I was shaken because I felt the weight of my insufficient prayer life condemning me. I must not really love God because I don’t find prayer natural and I could never be a saint because I certainly don't have an extraordinary prayer life. Ordinary might be more accurate.

I know this was not Manning’s intent or heart but it struck me that way just the same. I realize that my reaction went overboard, due in part to personal guilt and in part to genuinely wanting a better prayer life. I found some comfort in the story of Basil Pennington when,
as Pennington puts it, it isn’t so important what we say and do but “that I am choosing to remain for this time intimately with the Father, giving ourselves (myself) to him, receiving his love and care, letting him enjoy us (me) as he will”(pg.84)

There was much in the chapter that resonated with me. Much of what Manning had to say was a “hard pill to swallow” but once taken to heart I know the benefits will follow.
I have taken to heart the idea of simply “being in God’s presence” more. Prayer has always been an act discipline for me and I long for it to be something more.