Chap 7 - Integrity and Self-Acceptance

There were three things that really resonated with me in this chapter.

1) The dream of Jesus Christ is the Kingdom of God, and the committed Christian buys into his dream. It ought to be noted that the Kingdom is not an abstraction. It is concrete, visible, and a formidable reality forged by the personal commitment of many members.

The Kingdom is here now. This thought regularly comes to my mind and I think about this. I can be effective in the kingdom now. The choices I make now affect how effective my walk will be. While I can't take a friend to meet Jesus face to face, I can do it in prayer, conversation about Him, and the things I do. The kingdom is here now and we were called for such a time as this to walk in the kingdom!

2) …there is no growth without pain, no integrity without self-denial, and neither are particularly attractive apart from the personal love of Jesus Christ.

But Jesus for the love of us endured the cross - pain and self-denial is written all over the cross. And this Savior who loves me way more than I can ever comprehend calls me close - very close. I wanna be like Him. Pain? OK! Self-denial? OK! Am I good at either of these - No, but I'm willing because He will walk with me through it.

3) When the crucified One says, “I’m dying to be with you” and then whispers, “Will you die a little to be with me?” my sluggish spirit is stirred (unfortunately not always) to prefer the pleasure of his company to whatever trinket of creation is mesmerizing me at the moment.

I've thought long and hard about this. I feel the Spirit whisper it to me. Unfortunately, I too have a sluggish spirit. But if we don't die a little to be with Him, we'll never know the full extent of transformation He can do in our lives. We will cheat ourselves in the long run if we don't.

Chapter 5 - Liberation Through Prayer

"Whatever else it may be, prayer is first and foremost an act of love. Before any pragmatic, utilitarian, or altruistic motivations, prayer is born of a desire to be with Jesus. His imcomparable wisdom, compelling beauty, irresistable goodness, and unrestricted love lure us into the quiet of our hearts where He dwells." [pg.83]

When I think about prayer, the majority of my prayers cause me shame. Not like hide in my room under the covers shame, just a bitter disgust at the shallowness of my prayers. Most of my prayers are prompted by my own needs or the situation in which praying is standard or at least appropriate. These are the majority of my prayers.

In the minority are the moments where it's as if my lips are to His ear and I know that He knows. He KNOWS. A compassionate understanding that only a true BFF can understand. And the crazy thing, most of these times I'm not even speaking. These prayers of my heart, it's a moment where my conversation is not even verbal. Those are the tender moments. There are also the prayers which are cried out, screamed out, tears streaming down my face because of anger or brokenness. These conversations mostly take place in my car, my room or the bathroom. But these too, are the kind of prayers I think Manning is talking about. Prayers where He and I are talking in the deepest chambers of my heart.

Basil Pennington [pg.84] describes prayer as a child resting in their father's arms. Rest is something that I have to learn to do with God. How many times have I heard preachers at camp telling me to not pray at night because I might fall asleep in the middle of praying? If God is truly with me in everything, then He is most definitely there in my resting. I know the intent of the teacher was to help a rowdy group of selfish teens realize that they need to give their best to God and not just give Him sloppy seconds. But somewhere along the way, I never learned to find God in my resting (reference Tim Hughes, "Everything"). I remember being at a one day prayer retreat, and the speaker gave us permission to nap. Tears welled up in my eyes as I finally realized that I can find freedom and rest in God's presence. Rising up early to meet Him is good and well, but so is laying down to know Him. My husband always says the most amazing feeling in the world is an infant asleep in your arms, tiny hand around your neck and sweet baby drool nuzzling your shoulder. So we should be with Abba Father.

I have no comments on this paragraph, I just love it:

"The crucified Christ, in his present risenness, is not an abstraction but the ultimate response to how far love will go, what measure of rejection it will endure, how much infidelity, self-centeredness, and betrayal it will withstand. The unconditional love of Jesus Christ nailed to the wood does not flinch before the worst sinner's perversity and inhumanity." (Matt 8:17)

Brennan's excercise on pg. 93 reminds me of an engagement session I had with a young couple a few weeks ago. Brennan says "Reflect on the fact that he loves and accepts you just as you are now. Take time out to sense his unconditional love for you as he looks at you lovingly and humbly." I had them standing a bit away from me, and had them look each other in the eyes. And as I had them standing there quite awhile, I heard her say a bit embarrassed, "I can't look at you that long." I imagine this is how I would be, as I imagine Christ looking on me, fully accepting me, in this current broken and often lazy state.

"The great turning point in your life is not when you realize that you love God, but that when you realize and fully accept the fact that God loves you unconditionally." - Anthony de Mello

Shaken!

A Glimpse of Jesus chapter 5 “Liberation through Prayer

At the first reading of this chapter I was shaken. His comments on prayer that it was first and foremost and act of love and that to really love someone implies a natural longing for presence and intimate communion. Manning then described the requirements for canonization of a person to sainthood. Their life, more than anything else, is a life characterized by extraordinary prayer. It didn’t matter what miracles they performed, what influence they had or how they swayed the masses, if they did not demonstrate this type of prayer life they would not qualify for sainthood.

I was shaken because I felt the weight of my insufficient prayer life condemning me. I must not really love God because I don’t find prayer natural and I could never be a saint because I certainly don't have an extraordinary prayer life. Ordinary might be more accurate.

I know this was not Manning’s intent or heart but it struck me that way just the same. I realize that my reaction went overboard, due in part to personal guilt and in part to genuinely wanting a better prayer life. I found some comfort in the story of Basil Pennington when,
as Pennington puts it, it isn’t so important what we say and do but “that I am choosing to remain for this time intimately with the Father, giving ourselves (myself) to him, receiving his love and care, letting him enjoy us (me) as he will”(pg.84)

There was much in the chapter that resonated with me. Much of what Manning had to say was a “hard pill to swallow” but once taken to heart I know the benefits will follow.
I have taken to heart the idea of simply “being in God’s presence” more. Prayer has always been an act discipline for me and I long for it to be something more.

Liberation Through Prayer

Where I had a problem with much of the previous chapters I had the opposite reaction to this whole chapter. I might sound prideful to say that I feel like Manning truly hit the nail on the head regarding prayer - the meaning of it, access to it, problems we have with it. Perhaps a better way to state it is what he wrote resonated with my thinking about prayer and new thoughts he shared made perfect sense to me.

I think his Catholic background aided him in the practice of prayer. He says, "Recognition of the problem (of prayer) is not the answer. Action is. One learns to pray by praying. Two twenty-minute periods of prime time in solitary prayer, morning and evening, before a symbol of the crucified Christ is the most effective discipline I have found for making conscious contact with the living God and his liberating love."

He talks about how "Christian piety has prettified the passionate God of Golgotha", how we have taken the holy, reverent, passion of the access to the cross and minimized it into a necessary inconvenience.

I was inspired and challenged by this chapter.

A Glimpse of Jesus; Chapter 4; Deliverance Through Storytelling

I must be honest. This chapter was the most uncomfortable one so far in this book. Perhaps I am not understanding Manning's intent as I find his style of writing and wording poor and often showy. Many of his statements and view points sound new age and leave me with a "check in my spirit" if I dare to be so cliche.

Manning quotes another author, "Only mystics, clowns and artists, in my experience, speak the truth," (pg. 5) and though he says the author overstates the truth, he uses it as an argument that "Christ is far too serious a business to be left to the theologians and exegetes alone." He speaks of "imagination as guides to religious truth." (pg. 6)

His descriptions of Jesus also disturb me. "The stories (parables) were intended, not only to defend his own notorious conduct with sinners...", speaking of Jesus. In page 78, he says, "Jesus, who flinched, talked back to and questioned his Abba." I found that quite a bold, if not offensive statement to say that Jesus talked back to His Father.

I think his final paragraph in this chapter sums up my feelings. "In our cynical, disillusioned world, we may ask, 'Is this promise of a new way of life merely an illusion, a figment of the imagination? Absolutely not. Let us make a critical distinction: illusion is a denial of reality, while imagination creates and calls forth new reality that has not yet come to birth." As hard as I've tried, I can not find a way to make this paragraph sit well with me.

Chapeter 4 "Deliverance Through Story Telling

Telling a story about people (as Jesus did) means that you are in touch with people. To tell a story means we have come down from our ivory towers and have walked at street level with real people with real needs. They are windows into how our theology is applied in real life situations, something the Pharisees were unable to do. This is what Jesus did as he spoke in parables/stories. He was applying theology in compassionate and loving ways. This is particularly true in the case of the parables described in Luke 15 – "The Lost Sheep, "The Lost Coin and "The Lost Son”.
I am reminded that my life must interact with others in such a way that I have some stories to tell about how “my theology” brought healing and wholeness to others. How it showed the love, mercy and compassion of Christ. It is not enough for me to hold close to theological truths and to hold people at a distance. I must have stories about people who have been touched by my influence of both, the mercy and compassion of God and the doctrine of God.

Healing Through Meal Sharing

Chapter 3 “Healing Through Meal Sharing”

I loved this chapter because it was so practical and relational. I think meal sharing is one of the most effective ways to build relationships with others. It has been over a meal that I have led people to Christ, encouraged believers and received encouragement myself. The opening of one’s home to others is to open one’s heart and there is an intimacy we experience at the “table” that is hard to replicate anywhere else. I think if church members simply reached out more and invited others to their tables the love and unity in the church would increase and the gossip and division would decrease. I am challenged by this chapter to be more intentional about inviting others, churched and unchurched, to my table.